Big Elephants Never Forget

May 28

[video]

(Source: awesomephilia, via toodopetoexist)

(Source: penishole, via theycannotkeepmeawayforever)

• Teacher: Why did you not study?
• Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day! But that 1 day is your birthday!

May 27

When you knock something over in a store

(Source: bigelephantsneverforget)

“door bell is broken. please shake maracas. seriously just do it. it will be fun.”

an idea that needs to spread 

(Source: epic4chan, via lulz-time)

[video]

(Source: leeeeeroyjeeenkins, via laughingstation)

Everyday its nice out!

(Source: -theperfectmistake, via heyitsjacqueline)

(Source: fuckyestvshows, via pantsareunwelcome)

(Source: synodik, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)

Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?

multitrackmind:

pinkrangerwasa:

binbons:

robgonemild:

your-nibs:

castiel-winchesterr:

mrsfigscats:

He pasta way.

we cannoli do so much

his legacy will become a pizza history.

here today, gone tomato

How sad that he ran out of thyme.

Sending olive my prayers to the family.

His wife is really upset. Cheese still not over it.

he’s in a butter place now

(Source: pointy-earedbastard, via marshmallowsonmyfridge)

(via 100thingsihateaboutlife)

(Source: theepichumor, via theepichumor)

And I have been since I was 12.

(Source: domcobb-, via radicallllll)